So here’s a shocker to some people. I am twenty two and single. Yes, I said it. I am not in a relationship, nor have I been for about seven years. I’ve honestly never been someone who has been obsessively thinking about her future spouse, wedding and children since the age of thirteen (yes I realize I’ve made a stereotype). I haven’t and I don’t think I’ll start now. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with thinking about relationships and future plans (although obsessively doing it is another story), but I am just not feeling any desperation whatsoever.
It’s kind of a laugh to be honest that I, in real life, have to explain myself as to why I am single. It’s not like I’m on the verge of fading in to an old lady. I’ve practically just left the womb (allright, that sounds weird, but 22 is still so young). So, what’s the hurry?
I’ve always thought of relationships as a gift, as something special, but also as something that acquires a lot of work. Good and healthy relationships don’t just fall out of the sky (it might seem that way though). You have to put time and effort in to it and keep working on it every day. I’m very lucky to have a living example of a healthy and amazing relationship in my parents. I know a lot of young people can’t say the same and it makes me very grateful that I can.
Call me old fashioned but when I think of dating and pursuing a relationship with someone I’d like that to be with a goal. The goal of spending the rest of my life together with that person. And marriage of course. It’s also the perfect time to discover if the relationship you’re in is going to work or not. I’d like to focus on getting to know the other person in an emotional kind of way, getting to know their dreams and aspirations and finding out their take on important life decisions.
I’ve even said, although I really do hope I won’t have to fulfill this, that I will be okay if I have to be a bachelorette. I think I’d survive. Of course I’d miss a companion in my life, but I would spent my time in such a way that it’d be fulfilling. I guess that takes off any pressures I might’ve had about finding my soulmate. It’s going to be okay either way.
So don’t ever think you need to be in a relationship just because you’re a certain age, or just because everyone else is or because you feel pressure to do so. Take the time you have now to develop yourself, to find out what you like and what not, to establish dreams and aspirations and to be the best person you can be. And when that right person walks through the door, go for it, take it one day at a time and enjoy it. It’s going to be okay!